Too polite to rob

This morning I went on my recently developed Sunday routine. This is destroy a bit of my yard, fly down Arlington Expressway, through downtown to San Marco and go to Tropical Smoothie for a smoothie and buffalo chicken something. This time it’s crowded, parking lot is mostly full. I back into a spot and a guy came up to me and asked me if I knew of any work he could do to make a few bucks for the day. I told him I didn’t then suggested a few places in the area he might be able to try and he went into his life story about hard times and if he could do anything for me, wash my truck even… So this is a trend of people wanting to wash my truck… I told him I didn’t have any work for him but I could treat him to lunch and pointed at the restaurant. He was terrified to go inside because there were cops, evident by the patrol car I was across from. I told him don’t worry about it, we’re just 2 guys grabbing semi healthy food to go and introduced myself and shook his hand. We went in and he had many questions about the menu and ended up getting a chicken breakfast wrap and a watermelon shake. We sat around and waited together and he told me about the places he’d been applying and got really nervous when the cops got up to leave. When we got outside the cops were looking at my truck and I talked to them about it for a few then we got in and left. When we pulled away I told him he seemed super nervous and asked if he was ok. He told me he just doesn’t like them and I left it at that. I offered him a ride anywhere he needed to go. He said the Scottish Inn on Philips Highway and I said sure, just there or anywhere else in between? Then it started to rain a little and I told him about how my trucks wipers and the drivers window doesn’t work but his side does. Then he’s just quiet the rest of the drive which was less than 3 minutes. When we pull up he gets out and tells me he was looking for someone to rob because he really needed the money and shows me a revolver he’s had in his belt the entire time. So there he is with a small gun in one hand and a Tropical Smoothie bag in the other and eyes filling with tears. I told him if he wants my wallet he can have it or at least the cash inside because I still think I’m going to have that gun pointed at me any moment. Instead he tells me to leave and says he’s sorry, he can’t do that to someone now and storms off away from the hotel. So I left but not in a hurry, just a slow chill drive home thinking about what happened, how it could have gone very differently and who’s important to me.

฿3 bill

I had a blip of a perfect dream. I was out on a family walk and my wife(in the dream) found some super fluffy flower and wanted to put it in our sons hair but he flipped out and ran off super fast and was staying out of grab range while wiggling and giggling. So I took out my wallet and thumbed through and took out a ฿3 bill(3 baht bill is not actually a thing)which was very colorful and waved it at him. He ran over and took it and stood there looking at calling it cool while his mom turned his buzz cut into a fluffy white poof. I’m sitting on the ground watching the hairstyle evolve, arms behind me. Then she gave him a hug and they flopped to their side and it turned into nap time. Her daughter is laying on her back doodling on the sky with her finger in the air and looks at me and says her mom is putting her on birth control because it will help her monthly girl pains. I look at her and ask this 11 year old… Is that the only reason? You know if there’s anything else going on you can talk to us. She says she knows and awkwardly looks around and we avoid eye contact. Then I look over at her mom who’s on her side napping with her son in her arms as his legs are wiggling as he’s staring ahead but he’s enjoying the cuddle and the ฿3 bill still in his hand while he slowly turned it back and forth as the sun made the glossy bill sparkle.

The Colt Mag

Today I was at my aunt and uncle’s house for dinner. A brief background on my uncle is he’s a man’s man. He knows how to fix everything, enjoys all cars and guns. He watches war movies and eats red meat. He has a good sized collection of guns because he enjoys modifying them and going to the range. I’ve never owned a gun until recently because I never wanted to. Everyone else already had plenty to go around. After several lost family members he’s been thinking about what happens to stuff when he’s gone and asked me if I like guns. I told him I like going to the range with him. So to get a little closer with him I bought a Taurus 45 because every man in my family has had a 45. Fast forward to today… Today we are talking at the table and he remembered he found something while cleaning and thought I’d like it. It was a 7 round magazine from a Colt 45. It fit perfectly, no sizing issues or weird angles. My uncle said he was glad it fit and I could use it because Chris(my deceased cousin) got it a long time ago and it never fit any of my uncles gun. It looks great in there with no big base sticking out. I got excited and bought 4 more on eBay of the same style but the original will always be my cousins that I’m borrowing it.

Sunday drivers

I know I get road rage but I guess my truck has a stupid magnet..

Infinity sedan in front of me pulls forward when light turns green then stops. I go around and they cut to the right and hop on the curb.

Not even a block later a black BMW sedan with flashers on is pulling slowly around the roundabout and last second cuts hard to take the bridge on ramp and then coasts up the ramp with his phone in hand. Light turns green and he doesn’t go. I use my buzzer, he pulls forward 10 feet then gets out to take a photo from the bridge but isn’t puuled forward enough to let people between him and the barrier. So I hold the buzzer and a cop shows up and the guy tries to laugh it off, he just wanted to get a picture. So the coo has him pull forward to give him a ticket and let me pass.

Exiting the bridge fire trucks are coming. Traffic doesn’t care. Fire truck screeches to a stop and a second, they had to wait for a green for people to move. I’m watching from across the intersection, so much shade was thrown at them…

I follow the fire trucks from a safe distance and they get stuck at 2 more lights….

Fire trucks are going to a church but people are still driving up like nothing is going on.

I pass the church and go back towards where I was going. A cop and a worse than my truck truck are neck and neck at the light in front of me. The truck didn’t go when the light turned green and the cop sat and watched them and then used his PA to let the truck know the light was green to which he slammed on the gas and the mountain of junk in his bed shifted and some tumbled out so then the cops lights go on and he stops…

I finally got my smoothie but now I have to make it home.


I don’t know why but today I wanted to go by my grandads grave site but it had been moved since the last time I was there. He was cremated so it was just a placard. I contacted the administration to get the new location and they informed me that it had been moved and they couldn’t disclose it to anyone except for approved by the head my my mom’s estate. So that’s great. In 1996 my grandmother passed away and her ashes sat in the hall closet for the next 7 years until my grandad passed away. I do feel bad I wasn’t there for him when he wasn’t well and fading but I only knew after the fact when my mom rubbed in my face he was calling for me hours before he died. The last time I ever saw him was when he and my mom were having one of their battles that required the police to hold them apart because he would have killed her. This time seemed sort of justified though. When my grandmother was young her sister became a nun and moved back to Italy. Before she left she gave my grandmother a prayer book. Obviously they were Catholic. My grandmother kept that book from the 1930 until the day she died. My grandad kept it and read from it every day and would treasure it above all else. The problem with this in my mom’s eyes was she being a southern Baptist apparently meant this Catholic prayer book was pure evil. On the day I was done here’s what I had walked in on. My grandad screaming stop stop stop in a crying raspy voice while stomping his feet in place and pulling his hair panicking and crying. Around my mom on the floor were pages from the prayer book as she was screaming at him that he was a sinner and he was going to hell for using that book while tearing page after page out of it and flinging it in the air and getting in his face. So happy fucking birthday to me right? I called 911 and then took the book from her with minimal force and just being intimidating gave it to my grandad and he dropped to his knees crying and pulling the pages into a pile. When the police showed up my mom told them I was abusing my grandfather and I showed them what I had filmed on my Nokia 6110 because I knew I’d need proof of elderly abuse. Because of this my grandad got put into a retirement home but my mom put me on the not welcome list because she was still his caretaker some how. Years later he passed away and I was told after the fact but I could at least go visit his spot with his name and my grandmothers name side by side finally. Then years later I find out my mom had passed away and I wasn’t allowed to know where her grave was which was fine but I really wish I could have seen my grandparents name on that iron plate one more time.

Strike 1

So there’s a mistake I made in 2014. I ‘m not good at drawing out a statement and I tend to jump around when speaking so I need to write this out.  I made a big mistake. It was sort of rational though because I have always wanted to live in Japan.  I had a special girl in my life. I wasn’t going to go to bars to meet people.  Instead I’d used the same site I was looking for used cars on,  I made a profile and she clicked on me.  We met a Chili’s on I-10 in Beaumont one day for lunch.  She the one in scrubs.  I was probably wearing a green t-shirt. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. We hit it off and talked often. We started getting lunches often, some times breakfast.  I’d pick her up in my Mazda with AC or if it was a nice enough day with my truck and she never seemed to mind it. Within a few weeks she told me she loved me when we were on our way to lunch on 11th street and I really did care about her but when it came down to it I wasn’t completely head over heals in love with her like she was with me. I should have seen the signs too. She often came over to say hi, we got lunch all the time. Dinners weren’t as common, but every time she ever cooked it was the best thing ever.  Mac and cheese, chicken and rice, simple sandwiches, things I don’t know the name of but were full of meat and sauce and some veggies and I loved them.  She looked up a recipe for gyudon because of how obsessed with Japan I was and it was the greatest beef bowl I’d ever had. She would always make extra so I’d steal food from her plate.  She didn’t mind.  We went to Olive garden and she went nuts for some bread sticks and she didn’t care that I blow bubbles in my tea. One time we went to her dad’s house for a gathering and he has an awesome pool. She looks super cute in a swim suit and has long beautiful hair so she looks like a mermaid under water. She made me a sandwich and I was so happy but I had my goals and didn’t know what I’d be missing. We did a lot more than eat but I’m a fat guy and I love food and the table is when you can really sit down and spend time with someone.  No errands to run, walking and talking while doing things, no distractions.  We didn’t get to go on many dates because evening time was limited with her amazing kids.  We would hang out and watch House Hunters and make fun of people and their life choices.  We could talk for hours about anything and everything and we did because she was becoming my best friend.  I liked her point of views on the world and she liked mine.  She made me little things to show she cared. She made me 3.5 diskette disks with felt on the bottom to have coasters finally because my coffee table didn’t have any. They are still ok my coffee table wherever I have lived since. She’s a good parent and raised her kids right.  Her daughter would dart back and forth across her living room that gave me some anxiety but I’d never ask her to stop cause that was her thing to do. When it came time to go I started giving all my things away and she was such an amazing woman and she took my kitties for me and gave them an awesome life. Her daughter is the cat whisperer and could get the kitties to come over and say hello without effort. She even kept the Dodge for me until it had to be towed away and destroyed. But I had my dreams and didn’t want to wait so I went to Japan and kept in touch with her a little but not as much as I should have.  Strike 1.

Just take the iPad out of your bag.

I decided to bring my range headphones because they have the noise cancelation stuff in them. I also have TSA Precheck. One of the drones that wander around yelling laptops stay in the bag unless you have more than one. Side story; the agent yelling about laptops was asked “what if you have a laptop and an iPad”.. He was told if you have more than one computer take it out of your bag. He asked two more times and was given the same answer each time. I barked JUST TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR BAG. The guy looks at me and says but it’s not a computer. I asked him if the xray can tell the difference between one thin device with a screen, batteries and a bunch of little technology it it? He says but it’s not a computer. So he got held with 3 kids for additional bag searching.. ANYWAYS MAIN STORY; The same TSA geek that was going on about 2 computers was behind the xray thing when I went thru and my range headphones and phone and passport came out on the belt and he goes arent those.. I said yeah and picked them up. He says you’d don’t have a…. I say nope. One of the kids with the guy getting screened starts losing his shit because he wants his iPad. I put on my big ass headphones and smile. TSA guy gives me a thumbs up.